Love in the 2010's

I follow a few bloggers.  A few have lots of followers (James Altucher), some a few (Brooke Farmer) and some in between. I have no followers yet and I'm not sure I care one way or the other. This is more of a writing exercise at this point.

One thing that impresses me if how open so many of these folks are about exposing their lives in print. James Altucher is a public figure yet he tells you just about every thing good or bad that ever happened to him. In intimate detail. Things that I might not tell in confession! In fact I know I wouldn't, I'll just take my chances in the afterlife.

James discloses all kind of details about his experience with women, former girlfriends, attempts at dating, ex-wife and current wife.  For a guy that seemed to have a lifetime of failures with woman, he seems to have found his life/soul mate. Good for him.

Brooke Farmer is a young lady just coming into her prime years (her thirties) and is enthusiastically forging ahead into all kinds of relationship starts and stops as she looks for a compatible mate. She is a bundle of contradictions, a small town girl in the big city. A modern day "Mary Richards", a la The Mary Tyler Moore Show. She is a dreamer in the best sense.

Both of them, as well as other bloggers I follow, write about love and finding a balance in life. They write about their experiences in an honest, transparent way, warts and all.  It's a real time look at their diary.

If this is what they share with the public, do they have any secrets? I have secrets. I'd share them with you, but then, well they wouldn't be secrets.

I've broken hearts and had my heart broken. My adult dating experience was a bit out of the norm. I married my childhood girlfriend at 19 and was divorced at 28 years old. So, I found myself as a late 20's guy with just about no dating experience (meaning little sexual experience to talk about)  I was single until age 44 or so. So, those were prime years, I was doing well career wise and traveling all over the world for about 15 years. Life was pretty good sexually though I did miss the real intimacy of a long time relationship. Dating in the late 70's and 80's was a very promiscuous time. Sex on the first date was maybe a 50% chance (if you knew the person for a while before the date, maybe 100%) Sex on the second date, close to 100%.  So, if I was a young guy today, I'd have quite a bit to blog about. However, I have never been open about my relationships. I can't imagine sharing all this information like people today do.

I wonder if the level of promiscuity is the same today as in my 20's and 30's.  I could ask my daughter and nieces but that would be pretty creepy.

Getting back on point, is the openness of bloggers today a good thing or bad thing. Do their significant others get peeved at them disclosing intimate details about their lives? Do they tell them to put a sock in it at times?

Just wondering.

Getting paid to be wrong

This Dilbert cartoon in another blog reminded me of conversations I use to have with my Dad. His biggest pet peeve was weather forecasters.  He held them personally responsible for bad forecasts. I grew up in the Philly area and we used to watch the ABC affiliate and the weather guy was Dave Roberts. He was there forever. If he said the weather was going to be nice on the weekend, my Dad held him at his word. If it ended up cloudy or rainy, Dave's ears must have been burning. "That fucking Dave Roberts said it was going to be nice, he should be fired, I'm writing them a letter"  I would try to explain that the best a weatherman can do from an accuracy standpoint is tell you what happened yesterday and today. Tomorrow? A best guess most of the time, even with all the fancy computers today.  I remember one year, one of the stations started a contest with their forecast against the Farmers Almanac. The Almanac publishes their forecast about 16 months in advance (like they release it in September for the following 16 months I think)  My recollection is that the station stopper the contest after a few months as they were getting their asses kicked. So these guys get paid big bucks for being wrong all the time.

Dave Roberts has a famous son, who is he?

I can't for the life of me figure out why any station has a weather man or woman or person. Can't the anchor guy/gal  just read the weather?







Who else gets paid for being wrong all the time? How about economists?  These guys hardly agree on anything. Not only are they wrong on predicting the economy but they are usually wrong on telling you what happened in the past. So, they're a rung down from weathermen in that regard.  Every once in a while I see an economist getting an award for the most accurate forecast. Usually you never hear from that person again. It's the blind squirrel finding an acorn thing.

How about stock picking experts?  Wrong all the time.

Guys who draft in the NFL?  The world is littered with First round picks that are now picking up trash for a living.

If I was wrong as often as these guys in my job, I would be seeking employment elsewhere.


Want to add to my list?  Feel free!

What I've learned about Brooke Farmer from her blog

• She is more complicated that many girls I have known in my life. She is full of contradictions
• She had a very painful introduction to relationships but remains optimistic that she will end up in a happy  situation with a man
• She writes under a pseudo name to be anonymous but I think I have a picture of her
• As a writer, she can be incredibly honest and raw but I think she keeps some very personal truths secret
• I share a similar past with many of the same brushes with bad habits that I remember with clarity even after thirty years have passed. She remembers them as well and these memories worry her
• She has a kinky side but really wants love with her sex.
• She makes no bones about her love of sex, I like that about her
• She writes quite a bit about her pussy, and I don't mean she has a cat
• She loves her boy with every fiber of her being
• She loves her parents but is happy to live far from them
• The impersonal aura of LA appeals to her
• She likes being outside her comfort zone, it scares her but is exhilerating
• She wants to be a successful writer but I'm not sure she would enjoy the success
• She can't decide if she has a drinking problem. If she does, it will be hard to accept
• She feels oddly comfortable around people that are failing in life
• She tries to fix her own problems but really could use help at times
• She craves attention but doesn't like compliments, boy is that a contradiction
• She is loyal and fair, two traits anybody would want in a friend
• I know more intimate information about her than most of my friends but I don't know her at all, how weird is that?

So these are a few things I've learned about Brooke, maybe she will comment on whether my perceptions are accurate or off base. Maybe I bat 1000, maybe just .500, who knows.

I have to acknowledge that writing a blog is challenging. I just started to write a blog. More than anything, it's just an exercise in writing for me. I am trying to improve my proficiency in writing. Most of my writing is business correspondence. I have never tried to write anything else but I have a desire to pursue something else with my life after I retire. Writing may be part of it, I'm not sure. It may be business writing or script development for documentaries. This is a good practice and I realize I have lots of work to do.

In the meantime, I will admire other bloggers, including Brooke,  and put in my pick and shovel work at getting better at this.

Brushes with fame

In my time, I've met quite a few famous people. Most I've just said hello to and shook their hand. A few I've had more meaningful exchanges with. Some I just observed and maybe waved hello. It's always a little odd when you meet somebody that's famous, especially when it's unexpected. I'd hate being stared at like those folks. Being an exec at various times in my career, I had a small brush with occasionally being the center of attention. Like when I visited a site I was responsible for, you could feel some eyes on you when you toured the building. Or when I gave a speech at a trade show. But the attention was minor and fleeting. I can't fathom that constant attention.  Given a choice between rich or famous, I'll take the money and run for sure.

I've met a few celebrities that I honestly ignored when I met them just to give them some space.

Like I met Clint Howard (Ron's brother) in the airport once and decided to ignore him. Just to give him some space. He and I looked at each other a few times but I just acted like I didn't recognize him. Maybe he wanted some attention, I'm not sure

He looked just like this

 I sat beside Kenny G once on a plane to Mexico. We talked golf the whole time and I never let on I knew who he was. I also didn't mention I broke up with a girl once because she listened to Kenny G all the time. True story, I can't take his music.

I ran into Tommy Lee Jones in a bar once, he started straight ahead while he was eating and avoided all eye contact. That's a rough way to live.

Some celebrities are really nice when you meet them, some, not so much. I met Bill Cosby once and he was really rude. And this was before he had his show that made him rich and he could fly in a private plane.  I could tell you a few Donald Trump stories but I don't want to get sued.

I was in Norway once and the hotel room I was staying in had windows that opened into the lobby atrium. I was awakened at 3am by somebody playing the piano and singing. I looked out, kind of pissed off I guess, and saw a guy sitting at the piano with a hand full of people looking on. I bellowed out the window that it was 3am and he should STFU or something clever like that. To my surprise, Phil Collins turned around and apologized. I returned the apology, told him to carry on and closed my window. I later discovered that there was a huge concert in town and the hotel was crawling with musicians. I ran into Ricki Lee Jones in the elevator.

I once tried to pick up Chris Everett at Wimbledon. She was doing a press conference in the hallway and I kept interrupting her to ask if she was busy later. I know you won't believe this but I had been drinking. She did not agree to go out on a date, again hard to believe.

I met three US presidents and one Mexico president. All but one were by accident. Just random events.

I met President Carter on purpose, he was giving a speech and a friend was covering it. She asked me to go with her and I did. Not that I was a Carter supporter but I wanted to see the speech. He came over afterwards and I did say hello. He was a very nice guy, very genuine.

I ran into the President of Mexico( Fox) by accident. I was staying at a hotel in Mexico City and he came in with his entourage as I was waiting in the lobby. I thought he was a movie start or something. I shook his hand as he came through and wasn't quite sure who he was at first. We chatted for thirty seconds or so before I realized who he was. Somebody later told me he lived in the hotel.

It's worth seeing, even if your
date doesn't put out later

A date and I went to the Cirque de Soleil in Washington once. I got really good tickets as I was trying to impress her (it didn't) and we noticed the first three or four rows were empty in front us us and they were roped off. We were wondering why when a small group of people came in from the stage entrance towards the roped off area and it was President Clinton, Hillary, Chelsea and several others. They sat right in front of us. My date was a little more impressed but it still didn't get me anywhere with her.  I did get to say hello and make some small talk with the President and family.



I was waiting to get cash from an ATM in Georgetown once and turned around to see Eric Clapton waiting behind me. Don't famous people have assistants to do that stuff?

Maybe the most bizarre meeting was this one. Picture this, it's a warm summer day and I was living outside of Philadelphia. I wander into a Bennegin's for a sandwich and beer. As my eyes adjust to the dark interior, I notice a man and woman sitting in the booth across from me. Something seems odd, then I notice a couple pretty official looking guys guarding the scene. I looker a little closer and it's former President Nixon sitting in the booth.  Hard to believe. I later read his daughter Julie lived in the same town I did. It's hard to even write this story without laughing out loud.  I didn't try to approach them, who knows what might have happened to me! But I did wave and got a return hello. By the way, I wasn't a Nixon supporter either.

He wasn't this happy at Bennegin's

Some of the other famous people I've randomly run into:

VJ Singh, Muhammed Ali, Clint Eastwood, Chris Berman, Greg Gumbel. If you travel all the time like I do, it's funny how many famous people you run into.

My longest encounter was with a person in the news as of late, Steve Jobs.  I'll write that experience up in a later blog.

One of my, strange but true, stories from Corporate Life

When I think back over my time in corporate life, 32 years and counting, there are lots of stories to tell. This one goes under the category of very strange but true.  The time was the 90's, the venue, a business meeting in upstate New York.  We were putting together a partnership with a company located close to the Canadian border. After a long day of negotiations, my contact took me into the firms VP to update him on our progress. Have you ever met somebody that just immediately rubbed you the wrong way? I meet lots of people but this guy just had a superior attitude about him. It was like others were beneath him, he had a cold, dead look in his eyes, kind of hard to describe. Almost like he looked right through you. Later that night my contact confirmed that he was a pretty odd guy, very impersonal and not liked at all. Anyway, we told him we had agreed on the major discussion points and the lawyers were drawing up the contracts that we would sign the next day.  My contact suggested we have a celebratory dinner and off we went. It was myself, a colleague and six people from the company we were negotiating with.

Dinner was fun, a good group of guys, mostly sales types so lots of conversation going on. It was early when we finished dinner and the host suggested we cross the Canadian border and hit one of the casinos. I'm not big on casinos having worked with them for years on the technology side. But, I didn't want to be a stick in the mud, so we headed north.  The casino was fine, I mostly watched and had a few laughs.

My contact came over at one point and sort of whispered to me. "The guys want to go to one of the strip clubs, they're really good in Canada, the girls are completely nude"  I wasn't sure this was a great idea , I really prefer to stick with business ,but talked to my colleague and he was agreeable. So, we agreed but I stipulated , two drinks maximum and we are out of there. All agreed and we jumped in the cars.

The strip club was a huge enterprise and we were all seated at a large round table in front of a stage. A gal was just finishing her dance when we sat down. And, he was correct, she was totally nude. We all ordered a drink and were deep in discussion. I was talking to my contact about business when the next gal came out to dance. She was a late twenties, dirty blonde hair and very attractive. Great figure. To this day I'll never forget the look on my contacts face when he said "Holy shit, that's my bosses wife"  I laughed and said, ha ha that's a good one.  He replied, "I'm serious that's my bosses wife"  The rest of his colleagues had the same look of astonishment. After a minute or so of dancing, the stripper looked at our table and the same look came over her. Stunned silence at our table.

Strippers need love too

After her dance, the bosses wife came running down to our table and sat right beside me. Fully nude of course, at this point, what's the use of covering up.  "I'm so embarrassed she said, please don't say a word about this to my husband"  My contact chimed in, "I don't understand, why are you stripping, what the hell is going on? "

The stripper explained that she was estranged from her husband and even though they were still in the same house, he had cut off all sources of funds to her. She was desperate to move back home  and needed money. "well,  my contact said, couldn't you be like a secretary or something?"

The stripper explained, "it's the only real skill I have, that's where my husband met me, I was stripper"
Holy shit!  So the no nonsense, better that every one else VP had married a stripper? It boggled the mind.

We are chatted for thirty minutes or so and I discovered that she was from my home town and believe it or not, we knew some common people. Truth be told, it was little difficult maintaining eye contact with her, she was very naked and very attractive.

After the shock wore off, it was pretty funny to be honest, my contact made the best quip of the night when he said "whenever I saw you at a company function, like the last Christmas party, I always thought, wow she's hot, I wonder what she looks like naked, but who knew I would find out this way"

Needless to say, the next day's meeting, with the VP to sign the contract was surreal. Everyone in the meeting, in fact by then everyone in company, knew the story. All except for the VP. Everyone was in on the joke but him.  It was smirks all around the room for sure. Sort of a karma thing.

Certainly one of my oddest moments in my work history and one I'll never forget. Have a strange work story to share? Please do.

Intersection of life

I'm at a crossroads in my life. Each year, during Christmas break, I usually assess the year that just passed.  For the last couple decades, I would see where I was career wise and personal life, look at vacation plans for the next year, set some goals, see if I accomplished what I wanted and review my financial plan.  My financial plan review was usually around how much I saved, what debt I had, how my investments did and where I would invest the following year for the best growth. The Christmas week review was the culmination of a years worth of study and reading, discussion with my wife and others and was fun to do, most times.

What I learned was simple. It takes a long time to save money and time is definitely on your side. The simple act of compounding is the absolute key to saving any sort of nest egg. That and some prudent stock picking. I'll expand on my experiences in another blog on finances. Oh, and marrying well really helps, especially if your wife was a good saver before you met her.

I don't want to spend each day bored

I have been very focused on retirement the last few years and surprisingly not the financial end of it. I am in pretty good shape there although some changes will need to be made in lifestyle to accommodate the lack of a paycheck. My main concern is this, just what does one do all day when retired? I have interests, like golf, travel and working around the house but I am concerned about all this free time. Will I end up bored with all this free time? I can envision feeling like I am on an extended vacation at first and I am sure that will be great but what then? At this point in my career, I have been very focused on keeping my current job. I am fairly compensated and know that it would be very difficult finding another job at my age and in this environment. I am thinking that 2014 will be my last year working at this profession. My current thinking is to take a year off, travel and relax but also do some new learning for a new career. But what is that new career? Ideally, it would be a flexible job, something that is seasonal or I can work when I want to.  Something I could keep busy at and make $20 or 30K per year. That would pay my taxes and keep me from dipping into retirement savings too much for the next 6 or 7 years.

Is the path I'm on?

To be perfectly honest, I'm sort of amazed to find myself this old. It sort of snuck up on me.  I've spent the last forty years working at my career, trying to prepare myself to be financially secure.  So, it's a great feeling to be where I need to be in the finance area but I want to use the rest of my life to do something very different. Just what I'm not sure. I don't know how many good years I have left. Already peers of mine are dying off.  I may have fifteen good years left.








Some of the part time careers I may be interested in:

And by the way, these have nothing to do with my current line of work. Now I am in the manufacturing business and have been in Exec. Management for the past 20 plus years. The bulk of it in a corporate position. Much of my job is managing the commercial and technical relationships with customers. I have worked in start ups and a few of the largest companies in the world.

• Home inspection: I like working with my hands, I am fairly handy. I have run into a few guys that took this route and are making six figures doing this full time. I like photography, using a computer and writing so this uses all those skills in writing up a report. It would get me out of the house and I could freelance and make $300-$400 a day doing this so it fits the part time test as well as the earning potential I want. I would need to go to school and get certified.

• Videography: This is another interest. I could do small scale shoots for businesses or commercials. Maybe even a small movie from time to time as long it is somewhat local. (DC, Baltimore, Philly or even NY)  To do this I would need to gain experience and a portfolio. I could even do weddings for experience. A back up to this would be editing which I may like even more. Earning potential is good although I'm not sure how part time fits in, it may be full time project work with breaks in between.  I may explore a class in this.

I think the common thread here is I want to work for myself or by myself, I think. I've had enough of large corporations. The only way I work for a large company in the future is if I start one and it grows that large. Honestly, I don't think I that would keep my interest anymore, I've done that already.

So, what's your plan? Work until you drop? No job and travel or whatever you want in your retired years?    Start a new career?     Volunteer?   Whatever it is, you gotta have a plan !

The Kindness of Strangers

You've heard the term, but have you ever experienced the kindness of strangers? I have, it was unexpected and I was grateful. It wasn't a life changing event or life saving but it made a big difference to me in a time of need.  I tend to be very resourceful and honestly much prefer to take care of my own problems.

In the late 80's I was spending quite a bit of time in Europe with a start up company. I would travel around Europe for a month at a time, several times per year. I was single, so I took advantage of the time to sightsee on weekends without worrying about getting home . This particular trip, I had finished some business in Paris and had to be in Dusseldorf, Germany on Monday. I decided to take a train to Germany and enjoy the sights from the window. I had a train schedule and travel guide and no real plan for the weekend except to meander my way to Dusseldorf.  Remember, this was the pre-internet and pre-cellphone days, so travel was a little more seat of the pants.  I had lunch with colleagues in Paris and headed out for a good weekend, or so I thought.

A couple hours into my trip, I really started to feel ill. Sweats and nausea came first and then vomiting and  diarrhea. The toilets in trains then, and maybe some now, just dropped onto the tracks. You could literally see the track bed of gravel below you. Pity the poor guy walking along those tracks after I went by.

As I got sicker and sicker, it was pretty clear I needed to get off the train. I can't recall why I thought this but I guess I felt the need to lay down and find a better place to hug a toilet. When we reached the next town, I just got off. I had no idea where I was. I wandered around looking for a hotel. I found one after a half hour or so and was able to get a room. The hotel was some where in Germany, small town and nobody at the front desk spoke english. They did not take credit cards but I had a few hundred dollars in DMarks so that was lucky.  By the time I got to my room, I was seriously ill. I made it through the night but spent most of it on the toilet with a trashcan in front of me. It was not pretty. I kept trying to drink as much water as I could to keep hydrated but most of it came back up.

The next morning there was a knock on the door, the maid had arrived. I tried my best to convince her to go away but the language barrier was a challenge. She was trying to be persistent and at one point I blocked her from coming in. She left but returned a few minutes later with some front desk help.  More discussion ensued with no real understanding of the situation. I kept saying "nein" and a pantomime of being sick and they finally went away. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not as I was seriously sick.

Twenty minutes or so later, another knock on the door. In came the front desk lady along with a very attractive young lady. In perfect english, she asked me what the issue was. I explained my situation and she translated to the front desk lady. The front desk lady left and I spent a few minutes chatting with the english speaking girl. Her name was Helga.  She explained that she worked at the local bank but had studied abroad. She was friends with the daughter of the couple that owned the hotel. They called her at home since they knew she spoke english.  She stayed with me and I felt relieved but apologized quite a bit as the room smelled like a cell pool. The help came in and cleaned my bathroom and opened the windows. A few minutes later a doctor walked in, amazingly they called a doctor! He didn't speak english so again Helga translated. He figured I had food poisoning and gave me medicine and a shot. I slept like a log.

That night, Helga came back with food. The hotel only had breakfast so she brought an assortment of cheese, meat,  fruit and bread.  She was a really sweet girl, friendly and chatty with a great smile. I think she enjoyed speaking english as she didn't have much chance to practice.

I thanked her and the staff that night, they were really kind to me as I was just a stranger that walked off a train. A foreigner to boot. They went beyond any expectations a person could have. They treated me like family.  I got back on the train the next morning with a new outlook. Maybe a little more positive feeling and renewed faith in people.

The next week while working in Dusseldorf, I had a colleague write a note in German thanking the staff at the hotel for their kindness.  I wrote a note to Helga and we stayed in touch. We got to know each other better and spent quite a bit of time together over the next two years. I met her in Munich one year for Octoberfest. Once she showed up at my house in the US unannounced, but that's another story.

Not really Helga, but close